


The Whole Damn Sundae

by ScribbleTheCalico



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, Established Relationship, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:15:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5281673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribbleTheCalico/pseuds/ScribbleTheCalico
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel agreed when Jack asked him, but now he just can't go through with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Whole Damn Sundae

**Author's Note:**

  * For [art_in_my_history](https://archiveofourown.org/users/art_in_my_history/gifts).



> I really like the headcanon that Daniel is asexual. I personally see him as more demisexual, but the asexual headcanon really makes sense to me. So this fic has been bouncing around the inside of my head for several weeks now going "Write me! Write me! Write me!" so I finally caved in and did it.
> 
> If anyone in the asexual community takes offense or thinks I misrepresented you, please let me know. The last thing I want to do is offend.
> 
> Thanks to danielspacemonkeyjackson for proofreading.

“Oh God, stop stop stop!”

Jack immediately stilled all of his movements. “Daniel?”

But it was still too much sensation. Gasping for breath, nearly hyperventilating, Daniel shoved Jack off of him, feeling the mattress bounce a little as the other man landed beside him. His chest heaving, Daniel squeezed his eyes tightly shut, willing himself to calm down.

“Daniel?” Jack repeated, alarmed. “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

Daniel opened his mouth to try and explain, but nothing came out. What the hell was he supposed to say? _Sorry Jack, I agreed to have sex with you even though the thought terrifies me and but now that we’re naked in bed I can’t quite bring myself to go through with it?_

A blush rose to Daniel’s face and tears started to well up in his eyes as he shook his head. Shit. He was moments away from breaking down sobbing right here in the bed. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth in an attempt to regain control.

“Are you done?” Jack spoke so softly that Daniel almost didn’t hear him. “Do you want to stop?” When Daniel didn’t respond, Jack continued, “It’s just yes or no, Danny. You say either yes or no. Do you need to stop?”

Daniel drew in a deep, shaky breath and nodded. He had barely finished the movement before his well of emotions overflowed and he became a gasping, shuddering mess. His tears were flowing so much that he was surprised he didn’t simply transform into a puddle in the sheets.

If Jack spoke, Daniel didn’t notice, but he did feel the bed shift as Jack slipped away. Daniel’s next sob came so violently that he almost choked. It had finally happened. Jack had stayed with him for a long time, for far longer than he had expected. He had put up with all of Daniel’s faults so far, but this was the last straw. Daniel couldn’t even give him sex. And now Jack was leaving, leaving him alone, naked and crying in his own bed…

A soft touch on his ankle made Daniel snap open his eyes. He peered downward to see Jack carefully maneuvering a pair of sweatpants onto his legs. Stunned, Daniel made no move to help him until Jack reached the middle of his thighs and gently prompted Daniel to lift his hips. As Daniel complied, trying to stop his trembling, Jack slipped the sweatpants over Daniel’s hips, taking care not to even brush Daniel’s crotch with his hands.

His task complete, Jack crawled back onto the mattress and stretched himself out beside Daniel, who dimly registered that Jack had put on sweatpants as well. “Daniel?” Jack asked yet again. After a moment, he stretched out a tentative hand to cup Daniel’s face.

Daniel jumped a little at the touch, but didn’t pull away. Uncomfortably aware that Jack was waiting for an explanation—and that he deserved one—Daniel steadied his breathing long enough to gasp out, “I’m—I’m s-sorry.”

Jack frowned. “What for?”

 _What for?_ “For—for—I—” Daniel spluttered, still struggling to form words when he couldn’t stop crying. _Just stop crying, damn it!_ But of course that didn’t worked.

A gentle thumb swept a few of Daniel’s tears away, and he let himself turn his head a little into Jack’s hand. “Breathe,” Jack instructed softly. “Come on. With me. In…and out…and in…and out…”

Daniel shut his eyes once more and focused on timing his breathing with Jack’s words. His first few inhales ended up as shuddering gulps, but after several attempts, he managed to take a deep breath without choking over his own sobs. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Jack gently cut him off before he could say anything. “Not yet. Keep breathing.”

His bottom lip quivered, but he did as Jack said, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. Jack’s thumb kept stroking the side of his face as he did so, until Daniel reached up to grab onto his hand. Without a word, Jack slipped his fingers between Daniel’s and simply waited for him to speak.

Finally, Daniel felt as though he could manage more than a few syllables without losing all composure, though he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes as he spoke. “I’m sorry I couldn’t…I can’t, uh…” Damn it all, he still couldn’t put proper words to it. He was a linguist, why couldn’t he find the right words?

 _You’re asexual. Just tell him that you’re asexual._ But it wouldn’t come out.

Even without seeing it, Daniel could feel Jack bending over him. “You didn’t want to do this at all, did you?” he murmured. Daniel started to protest, but Jack nipped that in the bud. “Please be honest with me. Please.” Then, realizing the issue, Jack added, “I won’t be mad.”

An unpleasant shudder ran down Daniel’s spine, and he shook his head. “I’m sorry…” Fuck, the tears were coming back.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Jack tightened his grip on Daniel’s hand while his other hand stroked tears away from Daniel’s cheeks. “Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay, Daniel.”

But Daniel couldn’t drop it. “But you wanted…you wanted to…and I couldn’t…”

“Is that what this is about?” Jack asked, understanding. “You only said yes because you thought I wanted it that badly?”

Daniel didn’t respond, but there was no need. “Oh, Danny…” Jack breathed. “God. You didn’t have to…” He took a deep breath himself. “Sex isn’t _that_ important to me. It’s not worth…it’s not worth it if this happens.”

Was that supposed to make Daniel feel better? “I ruined it,” Daniel spat, the sudden fire in his voice startling even him. “I just—damn it. I just wanted to do this one thing for you, and I couldn’t even…” He swallowed before repeating, “I ruined it. I ruin everything for you.”

He tried to roll away, to get away from the man who deserved much better than he could offer, but Jack held him firmly in place. “Hey. Look at me.” Daniel stubbornly kept his eyes closed, and Jack sighed. “Daniel, look at me. Please?”

With a slight huff, Daniel opened his eyes. Jack’s face hovered near his, nothing but concern and love in his expression. For several long moments, Jack said nothing, merely held eye contact before gently shifting his hands to cradle Daniel’s face. Then he started speaking, one hand stroking back through Daniel’s hair, and Daniel simply got lost in the ebb and flow of his words.

“Yes, I wanted to make love to you. I really, really wanted to. But that’s the cherry on top. There’s so much more to being with you than sex. I love your sense of humor. I love your terrible taste in music. I love your stubborn streak that makes me want to kick your ass sometimes. I love the way you grumble at me in Egyptian when I’m not making your coffee fast enough. I love the way you say my name when you’re really excited about something and you can’t wait to tell me all about it. I love that weird thing you do with your tongue when you get so caught up in what you’re reading that you forget where you are. I love your hair. I love your eyes. I love your smile. God, Danny, there are so many reasons that I love you, and not a single one of them has to do with whether or not you’ll have sex with me. If you don’t want to do it, then we’re not going to do it. I don’t need the cherry when I have the whole damn ice cream sundae already.”

Daniel felt himself continue to cry as Jack talked, but they were no longer the shuddering sobs of before. Now, they flowed as quietly and as naturally as it seemed Jack’s monologue had. By the time Jack finished, Daniel’s mouth was hanging slightly open in wonder. “That was…” God, he had no idea how to respond to that. “That was mushy.”

Jack grinned and bent down to plant a light kiss on the tip of Daniel’s nose. “Only for you. Don’t tell anyone.”

That sent Daniel into a slight hiccup as he realized—this was the side of Jack that only he saw. Just him. No one else. This was _his_ Jack.

Realizing that Daniel was on the verge of losing control all over again, Jack whispered, “C’mere,” and hauled Daniel close. Sniffling a little, Daniel burrowed his face into Jack’s chest, trying to bury himself inside the other man as Jack’s arms circled around him. “Shh…” he heard Jack murmur as a soothing hand traced down his back, intimately but not sexually.

 _What the hell did I ever do to deserve you?_ Daniel could not figure it out. The only reason he hadn’t been written off as a nutcase years ago was that he had just so happened to have a correct theory about aliens building pyramids. He was always running late, always stubbornly putting himself in danger, always getting the people around him hurt and killed…and yet, somehow, this perfect man still loved him.

God. _Does Jack know how much he means to me?_ Daniel could think of a hundred times Jack had told him how he felt. Hell, half of them had been in the past five minutes. But the more Daniel racked his brains, the more he realized that he couldn’t remember saying those three words to Jack. Not once.

He’d had plenty of chances. Jack would say them and Daniel had the choice to reply. He always shied away, scared of admitting it, scared of what those words meant, choosing instead to say _Thank you_ or _Okay_ or _I know._ Somehow, Daniel had just assumed that Jack knew how he felt, that he had told him at some point. He must have. He couldn’t have let something that important slip away unsaid…

But he had. And that was going to stop.

“Jack?” Daniel mumbled into Jack’s chest.

“Yeah?” Jack’s voice rumbled beside his ear.

Daniel opened his mouth, hesitated, breathed deeply, and took the plunge.

“I love you, too.”

Jack gasped, just a slight intake of air, and Daniel suddenly realized that Jack had been waiting for God-knows-how-long to hear those words. _I’m sorry I couldn’t say them sooner._

The mattress bounced a little as Jack shifted his weight, and for a horrifying moment Daniel thought Jack was going to pull away to face him to have a heart-to-heart. No. The admission had been terrifying enough—there was no way Daniel could look Jack in the eye, too.

Daniel quickly slipped an arm around Jack’s back and snuggled into him even more closely, trying to demonstrate that he didn’t want to move. Thankfully, Jack understood, and settled himself back down. A moment later, Daniel felt a soft kiss pressed against his temple, and he sighed in contentment. He still had no idea what he’d done to deserve any of this, but he sure as hell wasn’t letting go now that he had it.

With nothing else to be said, the two lovers simply lay in each other’s arms, not sleeping, just breathing as one and listening to each other’s heartbeats. That was all either of them had ever needed. Jack was right. The other stuff was just the cherry. This right here? This was the whole damn sundae.


End file.
